I just found this post over at the Lactivist Blog.  It describes the “new” label of “Beta moms” — those of us who want our children to succeed, but not in an over-achieving “Alpha” mom sort of way.

To tell the truth, I’m not sure what I think of it.  On the one hand, I totally agree with the premise.  On the other hand, I see some comments saying how it confirms that it’s okay to be “good enough”, and I have a problem with “good enough” sometimes.  “Good enough” is an excuse often used for formula-feeding when there was no real reason not to breastfeed other than, perhaps, a belief that it would be more difficult.  “Oh I know breastfeeding is BEST, but formula is GOOD ENOUGH.”

This is why we need to change the language we use when discussing the pros and cons of breast vs bottle… rather than portraying formula as normal and breastfeeding as BETTER, we need to portray the breast as the norm, and anything else is below the norm.  As in, instead of saying “breastfed babies have lower incidence of diabetes”, we should be saying “formula-fed babies have higher incidence of diabetes”.  Yes, formula is plenty ‘good enough’, it’s a life saver when breastmilk truly is not available.  But it’s too easy to turn that into a wimping-out excuse.

Anyway, that’s a whole other topic which I’m sure I’ll blog about someday!

When it comes to parenting, what qualifies as “good enough”?  I suppose none of us can possibly be perfect, and “normal” varies so much.  Is it “good enough” as long as we’re not actually abusive?  Is it “good enough” as long as our intentions are good, however our actions might present themselves?  Is it “good enough” if we are constantly striving to learn and do better, even though we may feel every day that we are somehow letting our children down?

The article does say it’s about balance.  And the right balance for me might not be the right balance for you.  I guess I can live with that.  It’s good enough.

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